Some people do seem more prone to worry than others. There are many different ways that people can respond to events happening in the world they live in. An event that hardly creates a ripple in one person’s life, can completely distress another person.
Have you ever found your thoughts spinning off into all sorts of worry, or that one worrisome thought brings on a slew of more fearful thoughts? This happens to many intelligent and creative people. Because of your creativity it seems you mind can instantly produce many negative thoughts that lead to worry. There is a way to change this.
First it is important to understand where these patterns come from.
The reason some people worry more is because of the filters they see their world through. These filters will “color” your current interpretation and reactions.
The reason people react differently is rooted in experiences had in childhood. As a child you learned coping skills to deal with stress, anger and fear. These patterns of dealing with emotions served a positive purpose at the time. But many times these patterns are no longer useful for the adult.
Many beliefs formed in childhood continue to run in adulthood. Here is an example of a “filter” or belief that was not serving one of my clients. She believed that worrying about someone meant that she cared.
For her not worrying meant that she didn’t care. You can see how difficult it would be for her to stop worrying about those she cared about. We needed to change this old belief about how to care about people to one that would free her up to care without the worry.
Another client believed that if she didn’t worry something bad would happen. She had a number of experiences in her very traumatic childhood where she learned that worry kept her safe. At the time worry had a positive purpose, it protected her from her alcoholic parents. But it wasn’t the worry that truly kept her safe, it’s what she did with it. She’d run every possible consequence through her mind to make the best decisions.
But as an adult she found it difficult to let go of connection between worry and safety. Her fear of not worrying was creating havoc in her life. Her worry that something bad would happen, if she didn’t worry, was limiting her from moving forward in her life .
There are techniques to change these types of patterns and beliefs, which are best done with someone trained in Transformation System techniques. There are also techniques to use your own thoughts to change patterns. We all have the solutions within us . . . to be continued in the next post
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changing second exercise
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