In the next few posts I’ll be sharing the questions that people are asking about getting release from old traumatic memories. What I have found in working with my clients is that when we take the emotions “out of a memory” the memory loses its importance. As emotions are released from old memories they lose their hold on us, and they begin to fade. It is a bit different than erasing a memory, and I believe a more beneficial way of doing it because in the process of releasing the emotions we gain other things as well. One bonus of releasing the emotions from events and memories is that old negative beliefs that don’t serve us, begin to change as well. It’s like the little voice in the back of the mind begins to be your support and coach instead of the negative voice that brings you down.
It is possible to change old reactions.
I have been showing people how for over 27 years.
The following are the questions we will be discussing in the next few weeks.
Question 1:
I’m just wondering how do I shake memories that I want to forget. I’ve tried distraction and forgiveness but I and can’t seem to let them go? Old memories of abuse when I was a child surface everyday, and last almost all day. I tell myself to just stop, it doesn’t work they come unbidden. I’m 35 years old and it seems to me that there hasn’t been a day that goes by, where some awful memory doesn’t surface. As ashamed as I am to admit this, I am reaching out because I really need help and some advice. I pray that there is a way to forget.
Question 2:
I had a very bad experience at work. I’m still angry, but the worst part of it is that it is affecting how I interact with others. I find myself expecting the worst. As I experience the memory replaying in my mind I get into a bad “mood” and react horribly to others. I even know that I only hurt myself by keeping this anger inside. Try as I might, so far, I haven’t been able to let the anger go. Please let me know if there is a way I can go back to being the loving, trusting person I used to be.
Question 3: Over the last few months I’ve been feeling really upset. I don’t really know where it’s coming from, I just feel bitter and defensive. I’ve tried to let it go and be nice and more patient, but it seems to make things worse. Even at home with my wife, who I love I “fly off the handle” at the smallest thing. I don’t want to be like this. Is there anything you can suggest? What is wrong with me, why am I acting like this?
Question 4: Most people who know me would say I’m easy going, always willing to lend a hand. I’m well liked and successful in business and in life, but, it just this nagging feeling of not being good enough. My friends don’t know how much effort it takes to seem “normal”.
I feel like I can’t just go with the flow of life, I have to make sure others are happy. So I do things I’d rather not do, simple things but I’m angry with myself for this. I feel guilty for not doing something for a friend, but resentful if I do. As I write this I realize there are a few issues I’d like to clear up. Any ideas if this is possible?
In the next few posts I’ll give some ideas and answers about “erasing” traumatic memories, getting relief from anger and changing limiting beliefs.