It is possible to change old reactions.
I have been showing people how for over 27 years.
Today we will start looking at the answers to getting release from memories of past abuse and trauma. We start with a question that was sent in to the Anxiety Control Center.
Question:
I’m just wondering how do I shake memories that I want to forget. I’ve tried distraction and forgiveness but I and can’t seem to let them go? Old memories of abuse when I was a child surface everyday, and last almost all day. I tell myself to just stop, it doesn’t work they come unbidden. I’m 35 years old and it seems to me that there hasn’t been a day that goes by, where some awful memory doesn’t surface. As ashamed as I am to admit this, I am reaching out because I really need help and some advice. I pray that there is a way to forget.
Answer from Audrey Sussman PhD:
Thank you for reaching out, I realize how difficult it is to ask for help and how frustrating it must be to try so hard and still be bombarded with old memories.
So the first thing I want to do is to re-assure you that it is possible to “shake the memories” that are interfering with having a happy, fulfilling life. It is what I help people do in my practice every day.
Let’s look at why distraction and forgiveness may not be working.
One of the reasons that memories continue to have power is because of the strong emotions connected to them. It is almost impossible to “shake the memories” until the underlying emotions attached to the memory are released.
That may be why trying to use distraction or forgiveness hasn’t worked for you. When you try to distract yourself, you might have found that it helps for a while. Unfortunately, as you have found, the memory surfaces again and self-blame for not succeeding might then be added to the original issues of the abuse.
You want to forgive and move on but get frustrated when no matter your intentions the memory surfaces again.
This is because the true problem can’t be fixed in this way. To get true and lasting relief . . . .
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