Fear of the Dark – Helping children with a new story

The following post is from a note that came from one of my amazing clients.  She is the mother of a beautiful 3 year old and had used what she has learned in therapy to help her own child.  When she told me about how she dealt with her daughter’s fear I asked her to send in her story so others could benefit from it too.

I believe that what she had to say is so powerful that I’m posting it today.  Parents may find her story useful as they help their own children deal with fear of the dark.  It can also be  individualized  to help with other specific fears.  Thank you “J”  for sending this in.

The following is the note from “J”:
“I used to believe my panic was brought on by the changes in weather.  Night time also used to bring with it terrible anxiety.  Whenever it was a rainy or cloudy day, my panic was at its best (meaning worst).  During thunderstorms, I my anxiety was off the charts. Actually in any weather, other than sunny, I felt “unsafe”.

After working with Audrey, so much of my fear has lifted.   I now can say that I truly know I am OK no matter the weather.  In actuality the weather had nothing to do with my panic, even though at the time it seemed to control me.

Here is what happened that stimulated me to create a story that would help my daughter deal with her fear of the dark.  One evening while driving, my 3yr old daughter said, “Mom, I don’t like the night. It’s scary.”  When I heard those words, I began to feel sad that my sweet little daughter was dealing with fear and anxiety.  And I could feel a rumbling of the old fear I used to have,. But this time, instead of continuing with all types of fearful thoughts, (like I would have done before changing the way I deal with fear,)  I decided to turn it into a positive story where both my daughter and I both felt safe.  This story just seemed to bubble up out of my mind and this is what I said to my daughter.

“Honey, night time doesn’t need to be scary, because it is just as beautiful as the day time.  At night, we get to see the moon and talk with the stars . . .  During the day . . .  the Sun likes to come out to play. . .

Sometimes . . .  the clouds say to the sun . . .  “Ms. Sun, you’ve had your fun . . . now it is our turn to come out and stay. . .   The rain is wonderful and it likes to wash away dirt and clean the air.  . .  Thunder and lightening, give us a drum and light show in the sky. . .   No matter what the weather or time of day, you can create a place you like to be. . .  And if you are scared, you can talk to g-d. G-d . . .  who will always be there to listen. . .   and if you ask g-d to send a calming light you can feel safe. . . all you need to do is imagine this light all around you . . .   and as it is all around you all you need to do is breath it in and notice how different that feels, knowing all is well.”

My daughter LOVED this story and it helped ME as I told it to her as well!”

Again, thanks for this great note.  I welcome everyone’s thoughts and I am happy
to post helpful stories and comments like the one above.
Looking forward to hearing from you too.

If you would like to get a copy of
2 different Exercises to create calm
go to the box on the upper right of this screen
put you name and email – click on the sign in here tab.
And you will receive our gift of 
2 easy to learn exercises.
Available for a LIMITED time
so, be sure to get them now.