I hope you have taken the first and second action steps. Congratulate yourself for taking action. These small steps are already moving you forward in the direction of what you want. We will continue to use the principle of taking small doable steps, when we get to the setting goals section.
Recap of the actions steps:
In the 1st action step you began to look at the thoughts moving through your mind.
In the 2nd action step you began to look “underneath” for patterns. Many times these patterns were programmed in childhood as coping skills: They are the programs you continue to use in the desire to get relief when turmoil rages within you.
The are many different ways people procrastinate. They fall into a number of different categories, yet underlying each of them is a need we are trying to fill.
Look at what you wrote down, see if they are similar to what others have reported doing to avoid the discomfort of doing the task at hand.
- eating * cooking * cleaning * Making phone calls * Reading email, opening mail * feeling tired and resting * shopping
- watching TV * doing other easier projects * exercising * Paying bills * Other easier tasks * care taking others
You might have noticed that there are a number of positive things that people do while avoiding what they say they really want to do. Sometimes we do accomplish other things that are important, even if the reason they are done is to avoid a more difficult task. If you take credit for having done something else on this list, then you are using procrastination in a positive way. But if you are beating yourself up for doing these other things then they lose any value. Yet, no matter how positive any of these other behaviors may be, eventually we still need a skill to get to what you want to you.
First lets, look at some negative results of procrastination. Most people who procrastination will feel these, and these negative feelings make it even more difficult to face the task at hand.
anger * feeling bad about yourself * upset * ashamed * discouraged * worthless
frustrated * overwhelmed * depressed * guilty * stupid * feeling let down * lazy
- And the list goes on and on, creating new self defeating beliefs and programs.
You may be wondering if procrastination makes us feel so bad why do we continue to put things off.
Action Step 3: The next step is to look at the reasons you avoid a task you really say you want to do. If you look at your own list you’ll notice that many of the things you do instead of “what you should do” are done to make you feel better or alleviate pain.
By looking at the things we do rather than the project at hand you can get an idea of what you are trying to gain. When we feel fearful, or begin to doubt ourselves most of us will try to do something to alleviate these feelings. When a project makes us feel tense, anxious or uncomfortable we will avoid the task. Unfortunately procrastination increases the feelings of self-doubt and fear.
So take the next step (action step 3) and write down the reasons you believe you use avoidance types of behaviors.
We’ll talk more about how to use what you learn from this step in the next post.