Have you wondered why you get stuck and procrastinate, even when you really want to move forward on a goal?
For most people it is a natural response, the more you care about doing something well, the more stress that can get attached to it. The stress that gets us stuck comes from old wounds of childhood. Fear that it won’t be good enough. Fear of being judged or being embarrassed. If you always were accepted no matter the mistakes you made, then your reactions would be different. There are some very famous people who succeeded with new inventions because they looked at “failure to do something right” in a very different way. Seeing it as a new learning of how not to get the result wanted. For these courageous people the added stress of being fearful that they would be judged didn’t add to the stress of taking on a new challenge.
Actually some stress can a positive function, keeping us aware and helping us to react quickly in dangerous situations. However, when stress leads to a racing mind, worry, and anxiety it tears down self-confidence and that’s what causes us to feel stuck and then we procrastination and feel even worse because we’re not moving ahead toward the goals we want.
That type of stress is no longer serving a positive function.
Sometime feeling stuck is about something very different that we can know on the conscious level.
To listen to the 4 steps audios with tips on anxiety relief click here.
Clearing up the underlying causes of feeling stuck in patterns.
Selma is a VP of a large company, with all the stress of running a large company. Although she was handling the stress of the job the reason she thought she needed help was very different from what truly was triggering her anxiety. She thought she was coming to get help with organization and clutter. Her desk was so cluttered that caught the attention of her boss. No matter how many times she told herself she needed to clean it up, she felt a block to doing it. He boss told her that her disorganization would get in the way of her next promotion and large raise. She wanted me to hypnotize her to stop fighting cleaning her desk.
This is what I call the tip of the iceberg. It seems like organization was the problem, yet in truth there were deeper issues that were at the root to the block And the disorganization at work was even more curious to her because she was actually a very organized person. And even with what appeared to be a messy, clutter desk she was able to find everything she needed to do her job.
Why do we get stuck?
When we get stuck most of the time the real problem is outside of our conscious awareness. Getting stuck can be caused by a number of things. Fear, anger, resentment or an old coping program that was needed in childhood but that is no longer working as an adult. To get to the underlying roots and to find the triggers for our reaction we need to go under the surface of conscious awareness, to the unconscious (subconscious part) that holds all the programs that cause us to react the way we do.
Under the surfaced was a completely different issue than the clutter on the desk.
Selma was surprised when she uncovered how intense her anger was. This was what was actually blocking her from clearing out the clutter at work. She realized how angry she felt towards her boss for making an issue of her organizational skills. It was so unfair, since she was doing her job and more, handling all the major buying for her company, managing 16 employees who worked directly under her, and overseeing the secretarial staff and legal team.
As soon as she unearthed the anger that was under the surface she also uncovered a physical symptoms she had been ignoring. She had been having an ache in her stomach, and this pain had been going on for years. As we tracked the pain back to the root she realized it started after her mother passed and she became her dad’s caretaker. She loved her dad and wanted to be there for him, and at the same time she couldn’t help resenting all the work it took to take care of her ill dad, and needing to put her social life on hold. She felt there wasn’t time to give to a relationship because she wanted to be there to care for her dad. There was a part of her that felt so happy to have so many years with dad, but as he aged he became demanding and she felt she couldn’t do it right enough to make him happy. This resentment was buried in her unconscious. And when her boss and made a big deal about the clutter her feelings became attached to all the other times she felt unappreciated. As we uncovered this long string of emotional pearls of resentment it gave us something we could clear so she could deal with the one thing that was happening in the present without all the weight of years of feeling unappreciated. It was all of the stuffed emotions vibrating together that was actually what was causing her to feel stuck and blocked.
This amazing, capable woman was handling all of the responsibilities life threw at her with a cool, calm exterior. She didn’t realize that her body was signaling with pain to her anger, frustration. The body knows, for her the pain in her stomach was a signal that there was something that needed to be uncovered. It was beneath the surface so she couldn’t uncover the deeper issue until we uncovered the stuffed memories.
I help people who think they are just stuck for no good reason. Remember being stuck always has deeper roots. There is always something going on beneath the surface of awareness that causes us to get stuck. My job as a hypnotherapist is to help her my clients to gently uncover the stuffed emotions just beneath the surface and then to release them. When this happens it feels like a you are free to be yourself, and your true potential bubbles to the surface.
Step 1: Recognize the signs that there is more going on when you feel stuck. Notice body signals.
Step 2: Use the easy to learn tools to get to the deeper information that lies beneath the surface of consciousness. There are many different tools to use. Begin the process changing you state of mind so you can look at life situations with a new perspective using the video guide below.
Click here for the 7-minute video guide for Calming the Mind.
When you learn how to relax your body and mind, shift your thoughts (even a little bit), and release stuffed emotions, you get back in control of the feeling stuck. You can then discover new abilities and move your life in the direction you want to go, not where your stress reactions want to take you.