Whenever you find yourself stuck or indecisive, and your are beating yourself for procrastination, use these two tips to break the cycle of negativity.
I was working with a client the other day and she told me that she was so anxious that even the simplest decisions were exhausting to her. It had gotten so bad that she said she felt couldn’t even make a decision on what food she wanted to eat.
She was running a really negative conversation in her head. One that kept making her feel bad and ashamed that she wasn’t able to make, even the simplest, decisions.
The first step to change: I asked her to change her words from “I can’t” make a decision to “I choose not to make a decision.”
She said that felt uncomfortable saying it that way. And, I’m sure it did feel uncomfortable when she heard herself saying she was choosing not to make a decision.
Yet, it’s so important to change the simple words from “I can’t” to “I choose not to.” Saying “I choose” puts a person at “cause” instead of the cause being outside of oneself. Then there is hope to change.
The second step in changing negative messages and thoughts:
1. After allowing yourself to be at “cause.” Saying I choose or don’t choose.
2. Become curious. What is this feeling stuck really about.
a. Say to yourself: “That’s curious, I wonder what that’s about?”
b. When my client used curiosity in this situation “not being able to make a decision on what to eat” she was amazed at the information that came up: The first information that popped into her mind was, I’m bored and feeling unproductive.
This was important because it turned out that the reason she wasn’t making a decision on what to eat was she really wasn’t hungry. That was an old program running from her childhood. When upset eat. After getting this new understanding, she realized it wasn’t that she was stuck and unable to make a decisions, it was really that she needed to find something do so she would feel productive.
This type of techniques combines two parts of the Transformation System. The cognitive (conscious) part and the unconscious (what’s really going on inside) part. For more information on the many skills for getting change click here.