In the last post we were discussing traumatic memories from childhood that surface and play havoc with living a happy, fulfilled life.
Question: I’m just wondering how do I shake memories that I want to forget. I’ve tried distraction and forgiveness but I and can’t seem to let them go? Old memories of abuse when I was a child surface everyday, and last almost all day. I tell myself to just stop, but it doesn’t work they come unbidden. I’m 35 years old and it seems to me that there hasn’t been a day that goes by, where some awful traumatic memory doesn’t surface. As ashamed as I am to admit this, I am reaching out because I really need help and some advice. I pray that there is a way to forget.
Answer from Audrey:
We are discussing why all the good intentions of forgiveness and distractions aren’t helping to stop the anger and sadness created by traumatic memories of abuse or trauma. For years this person has been struggling, trying to shake old memories, and as you can imagine there is a feeling of hopelessness and frustration that results, when no matter the intention, the memory and emotions continue to surface again and again.
The outcome of being able to let go of the emotions that get in the way and move on can be achieved. If trying to fix something on a conscious level doesn’t work, don’t give up. It is possible to change even the most ingrained reactions by going to a different level of the mind. Then true change is possible.
The reason trying to forgive or distract oneself doesn’t work, is because the true problem can’t be fixed in this way. To get true and lasting relief – the emotions that are embedded in the memories need to be healed and released. And this is possible! Best of all it doesn’t have to take years and years.
Part of what I do everyday with my clients is to show them how to use hypnotic (Ericksonian not Classical**) techniques to quickly get to the root of the problem. It is interesting that when we utilize the wisdom of the unconscious mind, we might even find that the root lies at a deeper level than what a person might have thought. And it is amazing what changes take place when we “fix” the issues at this unconscious, underlying level.
When we heal the “inner child” the changes effect how you react in the present. It’s as if the gift you give of taking time to heal the childhood traumatic memory continues to move all the way through your time line, and the adult is also healed.
Let’s look at this in another way. When you try to fix deeply held emotional suffering on the conscious level it is like trying to fix a glitch that appears on the computer screen without going into the program that is causing the glitch.
** Ericksonian hypnotic techniques allow us to get the the root of a problem. Using these different techniques the client works in partnership with the hypno-therapist. The clients own unconscious has the answers and therefore it makes sense for the client to be part of the team. The hypno-therapist has the knowledge of the hundreds of techniques that can be used, but it is the clients own unconscious that guides the process. This is different from Classical hypnosis the client is a more passive recipient. I do use Classical hypnosis for many things, but rely on Ericksonian and NLP techniques to help people get release from deeply held beliefs and emotions.
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