In the last few posts I’ve been talking about different ways of creating rapport. And as we all know when first meeting someone, whether it is social or business creating rapport is important. There is unconscious communication that goes on between people all the time. Learning about this underlying component to communication is an exciting undertaking.
In therapy is it vital to understand the unconscious part of communication. Without this knowledge both client and hypnotist can feel frustrated and disappointed. We started with some of the skills of NLP: the use of words and “lead system” to create connection, comfort and ease.
Yet there are way to listen and respond without the use of use words. When you know how to use non-verbal communication you have another very powerful skill for your communication “toolbox”. Not long ago I was leading a workshop for people with social phobia on how to flirt. Because speaking is so difficult for people with social phobias, I created a simple exercise where the participants simply matched 3 types of “body language.” While they used this matching skill, they had a simple conversation. The verbal conversation wasn’t the important part of this exercise, it was about the magic that can happen by using this simple rapport building skill.
The participants found that a warm connection was established using this non-verbal technique. This type of connection was new for the people taking this workshop.
The following are 6 interesting ideas about rapport:
1 – Of the many basic rapport skills, the easiest to learn are: matching and mirroring the body movements of another.
2 – Although rapport can occur naturally, you can also learn the skills of verbal and non-verbal rapport.
3 – Two of the more advanced NLP techniques that can be studied are eye accessing and languaging patterns.
4 – “When people are like each other, they like each other.” It is amazing that even when you don’t agree with someone you can still create rapport using these techniques.
5 – When people unconsciously feel like you they feel connected, and what you say matters.
6 – Rapport is a powerful way to let the other person know that you are in tune with them.